An uneventful day
Today I didn't do anything. Slept for about 6 hours, had breakfast then I watched The Blind Side and had a short 30 minutes power nap. Packed my stuff, checked out and had a short travel back to my house. Already 5 pmish when I got there so I caught up with tech news and other random stuff. Exercised a little bit, took a bath and here I am.
I wouldn't call it a wasted day. I watched a movie that I like and managed to rest and lose some built up stress from work and general stuff. I like revisiting movies that I like from time to time as I change, to evaluate how my changes have affected the way I enjoy and experience things. It's also a good way for me to disconnect from the outer world. Once you have seen a movie a few times you are pretty much engaging a totally passive form of audio visual entertainment. You already know what's going to happen, there is no reveals or surprises so I do use that time to do some introspective assestment. I particularly enjoy this movie a lot as I identify with it a lot of the human aspects of it and the story. That drive that makes you want to help others is something that is fundamental to who I am. Because of that, it's the small moments that get me. When he goes and say hi to the little girls and they leave, because he is an outsider, and unknown big guy that to a kid will probably seem scary. You see, it might seem odd for someone in his position to try to approach the girls and might seem like a script shortcut to making contact with his future family, but if you think where he is coming from, it makes sense. He lives in a neighborhood that is full of bad things, people and situations; yet he is still a fairly innocent kid, because he managed to just close his eyes to all the bad. Taking that into account it'll make sense that he'll interact a lot with the kids in his neighborhood, kids that are in the same situation he has been before. He also is in good terms with the old people and has managed to keep his distance from the thugs. Now, fast forward to later on when his sister has to confront her current situation and how their new living arrangements is affecting her. She is conflicted because she knows they are doing a good thing by helping him, she knows whatever people are saying about it is better to be ignored and she doesn't really cares too much about it. However, she is still conflicted; at home she can easily accept the situation and has seen that Michael is a decent boy, but she still feels that something is missing. So after her mother brings up the topic she is finally made aware that their situation affects her, in public, and is forced to think about it and make it part of who she is, again, in public. We often deal with things in our lives that we keep at home, because it's our business and we don't have to bring it out to the public, but we often forget that most of the things we experience in our lives are part of who we are whether in a conscious or subconscious way. How we deal with those things can determine if it makes us grow as a person or not. So now that she is aware that she needs to deal with this, in public, she starts looking at the situation in a different way. She has to decide how this new person in her life affects how she acts in front of others. Then comes the moment in which she is walking around with her friends and sees Michael playing with the same little girls as before, now they don't run, because they know he is a good person. At this moment she smiles as if realizing that the entire ordeal of not knowing what to do or how to deal with it, in public, centered not around who Michael is, but what others think about him. Being a strong independent woman as she is, she realizes she has been worried about something that is meaningless to her, it is not in her core values as a person to let other people's prejudices determine who she is. So in the library scene she finally embraces her true feelings about Michael, her brother. It might seem like I'm reading too much into it, but I did mentioned I do some introspection when re-watching movies, her situation is the same situation we find ourselves in, all the time. Trying to figure out how to deal with certain situations while focusing on the wrong aspects of it. We have all probably had a friend that was not part of our group of friends so we kind of kept our distance in public (talking high school here mostly... Later in life we have already learned that we don't give a shit about "the" group of friends and we've rather stick with our true friends), we are focusing on what's outside and not in what's inside of us, which is for the most part of it, the most relevant part of the equation.
Anyways, I'll cut it there, need to read and go to sleep. Ah, the scene where he gets his room and a bed always makes me tear up, little bit. I've been in situations where things that I'm used to take as given and a part of the common experience of everyone are unknown to others or their greatest joy/achievement. Makes me always realize that we never know what anyone else is going through and it helps me calm down a little bit on my criticism of other people and myself. Often, we don't even know what we are going through.
Debt: 92,656.57 + 48.07 added a little bit.
Savings + assets: 21,785.51-20.00 Some bank fees.
Weight: 302.5 lbs.
Sleep time: 6.5 hours yay!
Meals: Had a good breakfast and an apple for dinner, didn't felt hungry during the day.
Exercise: 17 min. Have to start with something.
Read: Will read something after I finish this post.
Blog: Actually dedicated like an hour to it.
Expenses: Paid less than expected in my hotel stay... So only went up by a little in debt.
*Might have some written errors here and there, will come and fix them later... Maybe.
I wouldn't call it a wasted day. I watched a movie that I like and managed to rest and lose some built up stress from work and general stuff. I like revisiting movies that I like from time to time as I change, to evaluate how my changes have affected the way I enjoy and experience things. It's also a good way for me to disconnect from the outer world. Once you have seen a movie a few times you are pretty much engaging a totally passive form of audio visual entertainment. You already know what's going to happen, there is no reveals or surprises so I do use that time to do some introspective assestment. I particularly enjoy this movie a lot as I identify with it a lot of the human aspects of it and the story. That drive that makes you want to help others is something that is fundamental to who I am. Because of that, it's the small moments that get me. When he goes and say hi to the little girls and they leave, because he is an outsider, and unknown big guy that to a kid will probably seem scary. You see, it might seem odd for someone in his position to try to approach the girls and might seem like a script shortcut to making contact with his future family, but if you think where he is coming from, it makes sense. He lives in a neighborhood that is full of bad things, people and situations; yet he is still a fairly innocent kid, because he managed to just close his eyes to all the bad. Taking that into account it'll make sense that he'll interact a lot with the kids in his neighborhood, kids that are in the same situation he has been before. He also is in good terms with the old people and has managed to keep his distance from the thugs. Now, fast forward to later on when his sister has to confront her current situation and how their new living arrangements is affecting her. She is conflicted because she knows they are doing a good thing by helping him, she knows whatever people are saying about it is better to be ignored and she doesn't really cares too much about it. However, she is still conflicted; at home she can easily accept the situation and has seen that Michael is a decent boy, but she still feels that something is missing. So after her mother brings up the topic she is finally made aware that their situation affects her, in public, and is forced to think about it and make it part of who she is, again, in public. We often deal with things in our lives that we keep at home, because it's our business and we don't have to bring it out to the public, but we often forget that most of the things we experience in our lives are part of who we are whether in a conscious or subconscious way. How we deal with those things can determine if it makes us grow as a person or not. So now that she is aware that she needs to deal with this, in public, she starts looking at the situation in a different way. She has to decide how this new person in her life affects how she acts in front of others. Then comes the moment in which she is walking around with her friends and sees Michael playing with the same little girls as before, now they don't run, because they know he is a good person. At this moment she smiles as if realizing that the entire ordeal of not knowing what to do or how to deal with it, in public, centered not around who Michael is, but what others think about him. Being a strong independent woman as she is, she realizes she has been worried about something that is meaningless to her, it is not in her core values as a person to let other people's prejudices determine who she is. So in the library scene she finally embraces her true feelings about Michael, her brother. It might seem like I'm reading too much into it, but I did mentioned I do some introspection when re-watching movies, her situation is the same situation we find ourselves in, all the time. Trying to figure out how to deal with certain situations while focusing on the wrong aspects of it. We have all probably had a friend that was not part of our group of friends so we kind of kept our distance in public (talking high school here mostly... Later in life we have already learned that we don't give a shit about "the" group of friends and we've rather stick with our true friends), we are focusing on what's outside and not in what's inside of us, which is for the most part of it, the most relevant part of the equation.
Anyways, I'll cut it there, need to read and go to sleep. Ah, the scene where he gets his room and a bed always makes me tear up, little bit. I've been in situations where things that I'm used to take as given and a part of the common experience of everyone are unknown to others or their greatest joy/achievement. Makes me always realize that we never know what anyone else is going through and it helps me calm down a little bit on my criticism of other people and myself. Often, we don't even know what we are going through.
Debt: 92,656.57 + 48.07 added a little bit.
Savings + assets: 21,785.51-20.00 Some bank fees.
Weight: 302.5 lbs.
Sleep time: 6.5 hours yay!
Meals: Had a good breakfast and an apple for dinner, didn't felt hungry during the day.
Exercise: 17 min. Have to start with something.
Read: Will read something after I finish this post.
Blog: Actually dedicated like an hour to it.
Expenses: Paid less than expected in my hotel stay... So only went up by a little in debt.
*Might have some written errors here and there, will come and fix them later... Maybe.
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